I've been terrible at updating this blog. I'm sorry. It was to be expected though, it tends to always happen to me a while into something new. You just get into this rythm of things and all of a sudden all this time passed and you don't know what happened.
This has been an exhausting yet exciting week. I've had the opportunity to come along and observe as a Swedish delegation have been here and had a series of meetings regarding the rights of women. We've met with some ministers and UN people, as well as international and local NGO's. It has both discouraged and encouraged me.
I'm discouraged because time and time again I see how the international community totally overrides the sovereignty of Haiti. In my eyes this is THEIR country, and I am but a humble visitor - regardless of how malfunctioning the state is. There are great people here, and above all there are amazing and capable NGO's that have a vision for their own country. But it is very common to hear from international NGO's, as well as the UN, things like "there are no competent local NGO's". So they simply choose not to cooperate with anything local for that reason. Which is a complete BS reason to be frank.
What does encourage me though are those local NGO's that we have met with this week, as well as the one I'm working for, of course. Organizations that are so strong and inventive. We mostly met with women's organizations, and I am so inspired!
They are so strong and intelligent. They do great work, and it was a real honor to be able to sit down and listen to them. Life here is hard, and for women it is even harder. But the work that these organizations carry out give me hope for change. If we could just support them! (I'm inviting you to contribute here...)
The week before that... Well, Friday the 15th I went on a camp visit, which was really interesting, because it is one of the relocation zones 12 miles outside Port-au-Prince - Corail (not to be confused with the town in the south-west). Relocation meaning dumping people out in the middle of nowhere in a desert basically. There is absolutely no shade, and getting into the city takes time and money. There are a bunch of things I could say about that too, but I feel like I'm too tired to not just start to rant, so I'm going to restrain myself... But google it and you'll find images that will give you an idea of the conditions there.
What happened though was that I manage to catch something that day that gave me the compulsory sick-days that I guess every person changing culture and climate must go through. Some sort of stomache bug, and I was flat out for the weekend. It took most of the rest of the week to get back to normal.
That week was hard, because the few friends I have here were busy or out of the country, and that in combination with low energy levels just made my mood dip completely.
So I've really enjoyed being TOO busy this week, it is in deed much nicer. Though I'm relly tired now, and I apologize for a not too elegant entry...
I can go on for hours these days about this country that has really captured my heart, but for now I'm going to stop.
Have a good weekend!
/L
fredag 29 oktober 2010
torsdag 14 oktober 2010
Hot Haitian Night
The day before my last entry I hit rock bottom. I had been trapped in front of the computer for three days just entering data into an excel file. There was very little human interaction at the same time as the internet in the house decided to crash for a few days. I felt so isolated and lonely. Indescribable. And right now kind of surreal.
But it seems like I needed three weeks to start to feel comfortable and more secure here.
First week was all new and exciting. Second week reality caught up. And third week was lonely lonely lonely. But, yeah, on the 30th I broke down at the office and cried. It was a bit embarrassing, but also necessary. I think there were two good outcomes: 1. people got to understand that it can be difficult to be new and get zero introduction or orientation, alongside trying to cope with cultural differences, 2. I needed to cry and be done with it.
That day we went back to Petit-Goave, but this time to visit camps. It was interesting, but mostly it was so good to spend a whole day in the presence of other people. And I got to experience my first round of (amazingly cute) kids screaming "Blanc, Blanc!".
After that it's been going steadily up.
I have step by step dared to venture out and take back some freedom. Not a whole lot. And not all the time. But it’s the small things that count in these situations.
I have walked by foot from the house to the main road 'Route Delmas'. I should add that there are literally no white people walking in this country. Well, Meagan. She's the only one I've seen so far.
I love walking. Even here where it's more of a hike than a walk.
I have taken my very first Tap-Tap. They are colorful pickup trucks remodeled to take passengers in the back. It's a hail down, cram in, sweat all the water out of your body kind of thing.
I have also taken my first moto taxi ride. That is; get on the back of a motorcycle, hold on for dear life, and make sure to keep your knees and elbows in. Even more exciting! It's Meagan, again, who is the ultimate guide, and I'm so thankful for getting to see a bit more than the office and the house.
I have started to dare to say phrases in Creole, and I actually understand most if the person doesn't speak too fast (or I'm too tired).
Tuesday we went on a monitoring visit to the camp Champ de Mars that holds over 50.000 people. I don’t know what to say about that. I’ve been struggling lately with the picture people get of Haiti. It’s partly the reason why I haven’t written in a while.
It’s a balance. The situation here is bad. Really bad for some. And that needs to be communicated to the world. Especially since there are a gazillion aid agencies and international organizations here that say a lot of nice things on their web pages about what they do. But if you spend five minutes in a place like Champ de Mars you’ll start to wonder where all the money is disappearing. There’s a need for accountability.
But at the same time I want to watch it so that I don’t get all “poor Haiti”. There’s no point in US crying about it. That’s for them to do – and they aren’t. People in the camp were really nice. I got a new buddy. She’s three and looked at me with big eyes, and eventually dared to take my hand.
You see all you international organizations, the most important thing is the easiest thing: talk to people!
There are standards and codes of conduct outlined for how to do relief work. This is called the SPHERE handbook. Google that. Read it. It’ll go on about participation. And using the local capacities. And how the people in need really knows best about their own situation. And needs to be respected. I wonder how much resources went into the making of that handbook.
Our program director had a meeting with some hot shots from the UN yesterday. There were at least five security cars with their engines running in the yard, blocking the gate, and around the office. I asked him how it went. He started a rant. He was SO angry (and amusingly enough not afraid to tell them that) because they had just made a new report on the internally displaced people here. And when they’re done they come and talk to local organizations about it. In his opinion just so it can look good on paper. Because what is the point in talking to the locals when the report is already finished?
Frustration.
I don’t know if I came to any conclusions about what I started here, but anyways.
Just wanted to let you know that of course everything I write will be through my ‘Swedish lens’. But I am so blessed to be working with gifted, engaged Haitian people. I was hoping to contribute, but as always I end up just learning. It’s such a gift, and even though it is trying at times, it’s the opportunity of a lifetime, and something that will shape me for sure.
Life here is slow time to time, my social network is limited, and I’m an anxious soul. But it’s wonderful to just learn that also. To take in all the impressions. To enjoy the car ride every day. The nature. The colors. The people. Just now I sat on the balcony on the swing and just soaked in all the lights from the houses on the hillside, the voices singing in the night, and the noises from the neighbors and the city. Then a light rain started to fall. It was somehow such a beautiful moment. Right before then I was frustrated and sad. With the internet not working. With missing my beloved. With the empty, dark house. But a quiet moment in the hot Haitian night somehow made it better.
It’s a beautiful country.
/L
But it seems like I needed three weeks to start to feel comfortable and more secure here.
First week was all new and exciting. Second week reality caught up. And third week was lonely lonely lonely. But, yeah, on the 30th I broke down at the office and cried. It was a bit embarrassing, but also necessary. I think there were two good outcomes: 1. people got to understand that it can be difficult to be new and get zero introduction or orientation, alongside trying to cope with cultural differences, 2. I needed to cry and be done with it.
That day we went back to Petit-Goave, but this time to visit camps. It was interesting, but mostly it was so good to spend a whole day in the presence of other people. And I got to experience my first round of (amazingly cute) kids screaming "Blanc, Blanc!".
After that it's been going steadily up.
I have step by step dared to venture out and take back some freedom. Not a whole lot. And not all the time. But it’s the small things that count in these situations.
I have walked by foot from the house to the main road 'Route Delmas'. I should add that there are literally no white people walking in this country. Well, Meagan. She's the only one I've seen so far.
I love walking. Even here where it's more of a hike than a walk.
I have taken my very first Tap-Tap. They are colorful pickup trucks remodeled to take passengers in the back. It's a hail down, cram in, sweat all the water out of your body kind of thing.
I have also taken my first moto taxi ride. That is; get on the back of a motorcycle, hold on for dear life, and make sure to keep your knees and elbows in. Even more exciting! It's Meagan, again, who is the ultimate guide, and I'm so thankful for getting to see a bit more than the office and the house.
I have started to dare to say phrases in Creole, and I actually understand most if the person doesn't speak too fast (or I'm too tired).
Tuesday we went on a monitoring visit to the camp Champ de Mars that holds over 50.000 people. I don’t know what to say about that. I’ve been struggling lately with the picture people get of Haiti. It’s partly the reason why I haven’t written in a while.
It’s a balance. The situation here is bad. Really bad for some. And that needs to be communicated to the world. Especially since there are a gazillion aid agencies and international organizations here that say a lot of nice things on their web pages about what they do. But if you spend five minutes in a place like Champ de Mars you’ll start to wonder where all the money is disappearing. There’s a need for accountability.
But at the same time I want to watch it so that I don’t get all “poor Haiti”. There’s no point in US crying about it. That’s for them to do – and they aren’t. People in the camp were really nice. I got a new buddy. She’s three and looked at me with big eyes, and eventually dared to take my hand.
You see all you international organizations, the most important thing is the easiest thing: talk to people!
There are standards and codes of conduct outlined for how to do relief work. This is called the SPHERE handbook. Google that. Read it. It’ll go on about participation. And using the local capacities. And how the people in need really knows best about their own situation. And needs to be respected. I wonder how much resources went into the making of that handbook.
Our program director had a meeting with some hot shots from the UN yesterday. There were at least five security cars with their engines running in the yard, blocking the gate, and around the office. I asked him how it went. He started a rant. He was SO angry (and amusingly enough not afraid to tell them that) because they had just made a new report on the internally displaced people here. And when they’re done they come and talk to local organizations about it. In his opinion just so it can look good on paper. Because what is the point in talking to the locals when the report is already finished?
Frustration.
I don’t know if I came to any conclusions about what I started here, but anyways.
Just wanted to let you know that of course everything I write will be through my ‘Swedish lens’. But I am so blessed to be working with gifted, engaged Haitian people. I was hoping to contribute, but as always I end up just learning. It’s such a gift, and even though it is trying at times, it’s the opportunity of a lifetime, and something that will shape me for sure.
Life here is slow time to time, my social network is limited, and I’m an anxious soul. But it’s wonderful to just learn that also. To take in all the impressions. To enjoy the car ride every day. The nature. The colors. The people. Just now I sat on the balcony on the swing and just soaked in all the lights from the houses on the hillside, the voices singing in the night, and the noises from the neighbors and the city. Then a light rain started to fall. It was somehow such a beautiful moment. Right before then I was frustrated and sad. With the internet not working. With missing my beloved. With the empty, dark house. But a quiet moment in the hot Haitian night somehow made it better.
It’s a beautiful country.
/L
fredag 1 oktober 2010
Elections..
So people here are don't have any hopes for the upcoming elections. And no wonder. Here is a small report by the RNDDH - and it's pretty shocking stuff. Criminal candidates, corruption and lots of manipulation. Read if you have the time!
Just talked to the janitor, Blanc, here at the office, and he told us about how they go into the poor areas to buy up votes. The candidates who have this done are people who would NEVER put their foot in those areas. Democracy? Representing the people? Wouldn't think so. There's a lot of promising and a lot of forgetting once election day is over.
It's sad to see a city prepare for elections that no one has any faith in. Blanc says we'll know the day before the elections already who has won.
So let's be thankful if we live in countries with a lower corruption rate. Democracy is flawed everywhere, but very evidently so here.
Sorry to bring you such a downer of a blog post on a Friday. But I at least do intend to go out and have fun despite the reality of the world.
Take care of each other and have a good weekend!
/L
Just talked to the janitor, Blanc, here at the office, and he told us about how they go into the poor areas to buy up votes. The candidates who have this done are people who would NEVER put their foot in those areas. Democracy? Representing the people? Wouldn't think so. There's a lot of promising and a lot of forgetting once election day is over.
It's sad to see a city prepare for elections that no one has any faith in. Blanc says we'll know the day before the elections already who has won.
So let's be thankful if we live in countries with a lower corruption rate. Democracy is flawed everywhere, but very evidently so here.
Sorry to bring you such a downer of a blog post on a Friday. But I at least do intend to go out and have fun despite the reality of the world.
Take care of each other and have a good weekend!
/L
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